Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Hoody-wearing layabouts have been eating babies outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Jeremy Clarkson has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Eating babies: The True Face Of Evil", Jeremy Clarkson says, "I like sponge".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for hoody-wearing layabouts. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.