Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of training in Al-Quaeda terror camps has been perpetrated by anarchists.

The Mail can reveal that anarchists are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The Queen said of the anarchists, "the lady’s not for turning".