The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone, all of them involving Al Qu’aeda bosses.

In the glorious days of Paul Dacre, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone, but nowadays thanks to Al Qu’aeda bosses sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..