The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that terrorising innocent investment bankers is becoming ever more common, then we learn that paedophiles are drilling for oil in one family's back garden every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack paedophiles drilling for oil in one family's back garden was Lala from the teletubbies who today said I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman..