The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, all of them involving bleeding heart liberals.

In the glorious days of Conservative head office, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience squatting houses left empty by families on holiday, but nowadays thanks to bleeding heart liberals squatting houses left empty by families on holiday is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman..