Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Miners, bent on revenge have been plotting to kidnap a senior royal outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Plotting to kidnap a senior royal: The True Face Of Evil", Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells says, "yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for miners, bent on revenge. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.