The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, all of them involving the unions.

In the glorious days of Some bloke in the pub, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, but nowadays thanks to the unions using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids..