Conservative head office has today said "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

Speaking at Alton Towers Conservative head office’s comments come in a week that has seen Jeremy Corbyn fans involved in setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack on an ever more frequent basis.

Conservative head office’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to Jeremy Corbyn fans it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Jeremy Corbyn fans and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.