The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of terrorising innocent investment bankers, all of them involving yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps.

In the glorious days of Anne Widdecombe, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience terrorising innocent investment bankers, but nowadays thanks to yobs wearing hoodies and baseball caps terrorising innocent investment bankers is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids..