Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy have been ripping off hard working families outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Ripping off hard working families: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.