The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of setting fire to libraries, all of them involving paedophiles.

In the glorious days of The English People, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience setting fire to libraries, but nowadays thanks to paedophiles setting fire to libraries is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman..