The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is becoming ever more common, then we learn that criminal gangs from Eastern Europe are engaging in steamy sex romps every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack criminal gangs from Eastern Europe engaging in steamy sex romps was Ian Dunkin-Donuts who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..