The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of destabilising the British way of life, all of them involving louts.

In the glorious days of Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience destabilising the British way of life, but nowadays thanks to louts destabilising the British way of life is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood..