The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks, all of them involving glue-sniffing teenagers.

In the glorious days of Ian Dunkin-Donuts, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks, but nowadays thanks to glue-sniffing teenagers threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Our prisons are like holiday camps..