Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields has been perpetrated by teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values.

The Mail can reveal that teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Theresa May said of the teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values, "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood.".