The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of injecting crack into primary school children, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience injecting crack into primary school children, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders injecting crack into primary school children is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!.