The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village, all of them involving bleeding heart liberals.

In the glorious days of Margaret Thatcher, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village, but nowadays thanks to bleeding heart liberals terrorising the elderly residents of a tranquil Gloucestershire village is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman..