The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack is becoming ever more common, then we learn that Guardian-reading do-gooders are causing cancer every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack Guardian-reading do-gooders causing cancer was Ian Dunkin-Donuts who today said I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids..