Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of holding illegal raves illegally in illegal fields has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

The deputy commisioner of the Metropolitan Police said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "read my lips; no new taxes".