The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, all of them involving anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

In the glorious days of Michael Howerd, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists, but nowadays thanks to anarchists calling themselves the Wombles using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is If only we had a privitised National Identity scheme this would never have happened.