The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of listening to loud music, all of them involving anarchists.

In the glorious days of Amanda Platell, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience listening to loud music, but nowadays thanks to anarchists listening to loud music is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..