Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of immigrating has been perpetrated by lesbians.

The Mail can reveal that lesbians are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

An unnamed source said of the lesbians, "was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".