Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values have this week been revealed as using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps teachers indoctrinated with sixties liberal values would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of The Queen who this week said, "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is acceptable behaviour.