Now boffins have discovered that gypsies can cause cancer as well as being, frankly, distasteful.

Docktawh Gillian Keith, speaking from her underground nutrition dome said, "Ever since Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously told me about it, I have been trying to cure causing obesity with a powerful mix of micronutrients, goji berries and spirulina."

She added "As it turns out causing obesity is almost completely identical to cancer, in how it affects the balance of our chakras. And everybody knows that causing obesity is mostly caused by gypsies, who are known to promote a negative orgone balance in the red layer of the energy rainbow."

Of course liberal-minded multiculturalists will no doubt assume that comparing gypsies to carcinogens is "racist", but they can’t deny the simple facts of the case. And the Mail is happy to back Gillian’s words; she gave us a fresh insight into Broken Britain by saying, "Was it for this politically correct insanity that I fought and died in eight world wars? I think not!".