The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself is becoming ever more common, then we learn that Guardian-reading do-gooders are causing obesity every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack Guardian-reading do-gooders causing obesity was Nick Clegg who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..