Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of trolling social media users has been perpetrated by hooligans.

The Mail can reveal that hooligans are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Lala from the teletubbies said of the hooligans, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".