Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of setting fire to libraries has been perpetrated by young muslim men.

The Mail can reveal that young muslim men are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Enoch Powell said of the young muslim men, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".