Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Followers of Hugo Chavez have been pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Paul Dacre has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Pleasuring themselves on the alters of our great cathedrals: The True Face Of Evil", Paul Dacre says, "A large proportion of Britain’s Asian population fail to pass the cricket test. Which side do they cheer for?".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for followers of Hugo Chavez. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.