Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of helping illegal immigrants has been perpetrated by coloureds.

The Mail can reveal that coloureds are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Margaret Thatcher said of the coloureds, "the day of the yob is upon us".