With schools turning out a generation of illiterate hoodlums, crime threatening our every movement and a Government that treats criminals with kid gloves rather than forcibly immasculating them, is it any wonder that, once more hooligans have been causing obesity?

What is needed is some very serious discipline. We can beat sense into hooligans - all it takes is a little British spunk, some backbone and a big stick.

Instead sickos, perverts and communists are allowed to crawl the streets with impunity. Causing obesity must no longer be tolerated, especially when perpetrated by hooligans.

Speaking exclusively to the Mail about hooligans, Vince Cable said "the lady’s not for turning".