Conservative head office has today said "We need a lot less of the passive tolerance of recent years and much more active, muscular liberalism. Especially for the blacks.".

Speaking at Alton Towers Conservative head office’s comments come in a week that has seen glue-sniffing teenagers involved in threatening to smash up branches of McDonalds and Starbucks on an ever more frequent basis.

Conservative head office’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to glue-sniffing teenagers it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Glue-sniffing teenagers and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.