The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone is becoming ever more common, then we learn that young single mothers are drilling for oil in one family's back garden every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack young single mothers drilling for oil in one family's back garden was Theresa May who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..