In a shocking indictment of our permissive society it has this week emerged that lesbians have been injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by.

Things have gone too far. Its bad enough that we tolerate the spicy food and loud music of lesbians without allowing them to terrorise decent, middle class families as well.

The Mail will be starting a campaign against lesbians and we promise our readers now that we shall not rest until each one of them is hunted down like a dog. Lala from the teletubbies speaking in support of our campaign said "I think hanging is too good for them; Its time to consider the reintroduction of crucifiction, especially for criminals.".

Have things gone too far? Have your say on our webshite!