The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that drilling for oil in one family's back garden is becoming ever more common, then we learn that Al Qu’aeda bosses are setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack Al Qu’aeda bosses setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack was Winston Churchill, speaking through a medium who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..