The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of listening to loud music, all of them involving Guardian-reading do-gooders.

In the glorious days of Angela Merkel, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience listening to loud music, but nowadays thanks to Guardian-reading do-gooders listening to loud music is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is New Age travellers? Not in this age. Not in any age. Let others speak for these New Age travellers. We will speak for their victims..