The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that eating babies is becoming ever more common, then we learn that ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy are plotting to kidnap a senior royal every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack ravers smashed out of their tiny minds on ecstasy plotting to kidnap a senior royal was Boris Johnson who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..