Conservative head office has today said "make no mistake if this is allowed to continue Armageddon shall surely be upon us and woe betide all who would seek to impose upon us a surveillance society. For on that day the right shall inherit the Earth!".

Speaking at Alton Towers Conservative head office’s comments come in a week that has seen Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum involved in smashing up images of our queen of hearts, Lady Diana herself on an ever more frequent basis.

Conservative head office’s comments are both brave and perceptive. In a country where children as young as five are regularly exposed to Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum it is about time that someone had the guts to stand up and tell the truth. Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum and the liberal communist atheist society that spawns them must be eliminated.