The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that using skateboards and yobbish language to molest journalists is becoming ever more common, then we learn that paedophiles are sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack paedophiles sacrificing goats to a gilded image of Ken Livingstone was Angela Merkel who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..