The Mail has learned that homosexuals are responsible for getting away with arson.

Has the world gone mad? Homosexuals are getting away with arson with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Vince Cable, who said "As I look ahead, I am filled with foreboding. Like the Roman, I seem to see the River Tiber foaming with much blood."