The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of plotting to kidnap a senior royal, all of them involving criminal gangs from Eastern Europe.

In the glorious days of Mr I.P.Freely of Tunbridge Wells, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience plotting to kidnap a senior royal, but nowadays thanks to criminal gangs from Eastern Europe plotting to kidnap a senior royal is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is We are coming slowly, painfully to an autumn of understanding, I hope it will be followed by a winter of common sense..