Why, Oh Why, Oh Why do we allow women such freedom? Not only are they probably communists, but women have this week been revealed as setting fire to libraries.

If only the Government and the guacomole-munchers of Islington were a little less concerned with helping Johnny-foreigner and a little more concerned with the rights of the hard working majority of our glorious Nation, then perhaps women would not get away with such treachery.

That certainly seems to be the opinion of An unnamed source who this week said, "I have always said if you want a speech, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.".

So, next time you are at a dinner party and the menu involves sun dried tomatoes, just consider whether you think that setting fire to libraries is acceptable behaviour.