Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of hacking the Gibson has been perpetrated by anarchists calling themselves the Wombles.

The Mail can reveal that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Amanda Platell said of the anarchists calling themselves the Wombles, "a glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants".