Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of praising Osama Bin Laden has been perpetrated by communist-sympathisers.

The Mail can reveal that communist-sympathisers are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Ian Dunkin-Donuts said of the communist-sympathisers, "the lady’s not for turning".