The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that listening to loud music is becoming ever more common, then we learn that enviro-Mental-ists are plotting to kidnap a senior royal every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack enviro-Mental-ists plotting to kidnap a senior royal was Bernard Jenkin who today said Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets..