The horror or Broken Britain continues this week.

First we learn that injecting crack into the kneecaps of innocent passers by is becoming ever more common, then we learn that anarchists calling themselves the Wombles are plotting to kidnap a senior royal every day.

Among the hardworking Britons to attack anarchists calling themselves the Wombles plotting to kidnap a senior royal was John Major who today said Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts..