The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of causing cancer, all of them involving hoody-wearing layabouts.

In the glorious days of James May, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience causing cancer, but nowadays thanks to hoody-wearing layabouts causing cancer is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is Yet again these oafs have destroyed my evening..