The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of urinating on the Union Jack, all of them involving criminal gangs from Eastern Europe.

In the glorious days of An unnamed source, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience urinating on the Union Jack, but nowadays thanks to criminal gangs from Eastern Europe urinating on the Union Jack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids..