Shocking news has come to light that a recent spate of being involved in the death of Princess Diana (God rest her precious soul) has been perpetrated by Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum.

The Mail can reveal that Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum are actually not human at all but have been spawned in Europe by a bureaucrat known as Saruman who intends to wrest control of all that is good and decent using this army of misfits.

Conservative head office said of the Jeremy Corbyn-admiring lefty scum, "Its the terrorists fault. Watch my eyes. Te-rror-ists. Now I can say anything I like and you’ll think it makes sense somehow. Brilliant. Te-rror-is-ts.".