The Mail has learned that gangs of children, some still in their prams are responsible for plotting to kidnap a senior royal.

Has the world gone mad? Gangs of children, some still in their prams are plotting to kidnap a senior royal with impunity. Hanging is surely too good for these no good scum. Why doesn’t the Government use all the money it has stolen from the hardworking families of Britain in stealth taxes to make amends for the situation. Probably because they are too busy lining their pockets!

The Mail spoke to Norris McWhirter, speaking posthumously, who said "I blame all of this on stealth taxes and permissive education in the 1960s."