The Daily Mail has learned, by imagining them, of literally BILLIONS of incidents of urinating on the Union Jack, all of them involving hoody-wearing layabouts.

In the glorious days of Richard Littlejohn, no hardworking family of Britain would expect to experience urinating on the Union Jack, but nowadays thanks to hoody-wearing layabouts urinating on the Union Jack is an everyday occurence.

Frankly, the only thing that any sane person can say is A glorious thousand-year reich seems like the only practical choice to stem the tide of economic migrants.